Farewell.

I am not a fan of people leaving.
By leaving I mean them, the ones you are close to moving away either permanently or for a given period of time.
And why is it bad? It is because it makes you realize that there is a that-person-shaped void created in your universe. This void represents everything that they meant to you, the little things that you would miss about them. It cannot be filled again. It can just be ignored. Pushed as far back as you possible can, buried under the layers of mundanity that dictates one's everyday life.

That is one aspect of it.

Another is the question of 'why?'
Why should you feel anything for anybody. Why get close to another soul?

Separation is inevitable. Life comes in the way, and nothing can be done about it.

You cherish someone, they reciprocate and then they move on. You think of that one moment in time, which is now past, in which you held someone and it meant something. And for the rest of that particular time frame you do your bit to get it back, which sadly is now only a memory.
Or there is the scenario that they too end up staying. All in the hope of that one elusive moment.
You have someone for sometime and then you move on to be someone else who means something else for some other person.
And so goes on this vicious cycle.

Yet we play our part because....

Open interpretations.

This picture was drawn by a friend.
I wondered what she had tried to convey through this picture. What story did it tell?

I see an old man, sitting on the outside of what seems like a cemetery. The cross above his head responsible for my assumption of the setting. Maybe he is grieving the loss of someone, someone who must have meant something to him. Maybe a wife, or a son. Or even a friend, maybe his only one.  I wonder what the stairs imply. And his slippers. Maybe he is distraught over the loss. And it is there to emphasize the importance of the person.
The old man has a vacant expression on his face. It is not of peace, but of a tranquility that results from the acceptance of chaos in one's life. I think he is grieving for a loss that happened a long time ago, and that he forgot to stop grieving about it. But is this what happens to people who do not accept loss, who learn to live around it. Letting it consume you slowly in your mind before its eventual claim on your body.
I concluded that this was something to do with loss, and the pain accompanying it.

And I ask her, what is it that you are trying to convey through this. She told me that she tried to recapture an image, which made an impression on her, using watercolours. And that was the result of it.
So I ask if I can have a look at the Original picture; this is it.

Was I wrong in my assumptions? Maybe. But can you dispute it? Well except for the cemetery part, which maybe true, I think I can live with my take on it.

That was my first impression on the picture drawn. If she had not mentioned it, I would have gone on to think of it as a brilliant piece of art with an underlying message to the rest of the world.
But this picture taken is exactly that. It still is art, captured through a different medium, and open to interpretation to the rest of the world.
And each of our interpretations and complex analysis will be far from the truths of the world that this man lives in. Maybe he sat there because he was tired, with slippers he found, which made no sense together to the rest of the world but him.
That is absolute freedom.
Away from the world that was created for us in the minds of others who came before. Away from the shackles of our reality that binds one slipper in this world to the only other of the same kind. 

B and double you.

Fade in,
B and double you,
The warm sunlit place,
that'd be the setting,
the butterfly earrings,
and those benches in shade.
The beautiful time that we longed,
would be the time that i'd remember.
Then we hoped for togetherness,
as now we still do,
all tucked away in this memory room.
With no windows to wake up to dawn.
Or doors to leave,
This is mine, and you cannot take it away.
I wished you did,
and I wished I'd let you.
But for all the times we spent,
together,
wondering what to do,
or planning the next trip to paradise,
I'd miss this,
the sun upon your face,
with me,
and the hope,
of a beautiful future,
etched on that bench,
sitting idle, no more.

Smile You.

I wonder what is it that made her smile,
made her close those pretty eyes to the world.
Was it a lovely thought? Or maybe a person?
was it a past memory? Or the one in making?
Its a smile that evoked a smile, from the ones looking.
It wasn't a smile that expected a smile back.
Its was something personal, I'm sure

It never was for You or I, but yet I hoped if it were.

I wonder if she'd remember, Or if I'd ever hear,
Of that finite moment, when it all came together.

But then again, would you really want to know? I wouldn't.
I would just let the moment be, not alter it to reality,
to each his own vision of beauty, quirks of heavens.
I'd look at her picture, smile back,
and let the gods of happiness balance it out,
for it symbolizes hope, in some lives of ours.
 

The last time

Now when I think of it, You were prepared for this all along.

And I was the one, who believed he was prepared to live it through.

You knew it, deep down you really did.

That this was just a stupid dream, which we tried too hard not to wake up from.

We lay down with our eyes closed, trying to remember where we'd left off.

So we can start again, and walk together. 

We tried, we really did.

And I thank you, not today. Or tomorrow. 

But will someday, in the near not-so-ours-together future.

Where you would be happy with the things you can control.

And I, I would still be around. 

So Let me write you this, this poem without verse.

Or structure, Or love that once made it worse.

Let me rhyme, this one time, 

For what we had was a beautiful hymn.

Sleep tight

You are back.

In a way, Yes.

So feeling any better?

I wouldn't say I am.

How can I help?

You cannot. Don't you see the things that your counsel has already put me through?

I played for you, You played for her. She played for her too.

And you are blaming me?

No, not you. I'm just blaming myself for letting this happen to you.

When you think about it, it was actually your fault!!

Yes, I knew you would come around to blaming me. But, that's alright. 

I listened to you. I played the part. And look at me now!

You risked us both. You were vulnerable out there. And someone took advantage. Welcome to life my friend.

But.. All I did was.. 

Let it go. We need to look ahead. There! Do you see where that light is coming from?

What light? Where?

You don't see it, do you?

No I don't!!

You will not find what you seek till you are stuck here, in this place.

Stuck here? Where exactly are we? And what is this place?

You tell me. We are afterall in Your dream.

If this is my dream as you say, why is all dark and empty?

Well, It wasn't always like this. We used to have colour and happiness. And guess what happened. 

(Chuckles) 

Am I dead already?

Not as much as you would have liked. But I wouldn't say the same about this dream.

Is this what my life has become?

It is what you make of it. You built this place. You see dreams are just a continuation of our reality.

You said 'our' reality.

(smiles) Who do you think I am?

Eh.. 

 

END.

Why do I love you?

I loved you when I asked you out.
I loved you when I wasn't sure why I asked you out.
I loved you on the day I first kissed you.
I loved you on the hundreds of nights we spent talking, making plans for you.
I loved you when you spoke.
I loved you when you listened.
I loved you when you were happy.
I loved you when you laughed.
I loved you when you teared up.
I loved you when you were angry at the world.
I loved you when you were working your way up.
I loved you when we were stuck in the rain.
I loved you when you drove me around.
I loved you when sat behind me on my bike.
I loved you on the night I was afraid to go sleep.
I loved you when you would not sleep for me.
I loved you when your nose went all pink.
I loved you when you dint care what people think.
I loved you when you spoke to me on your way back home.
I loved you when you feared me coming home.
I loved you when you were waiting for me alone.
I loved you when you would give me that stupid smile.
I loved you when we took long walks
I loved you when we had small talks.
I loved you when I was afraid to let you ride.
I loved you when you wouldn't let me drive.
I loved you when you watched me play.
I loved you when we met everyday.
I loved you when I came home to you.
I loved you when you came to wish me.
I loved you when you surprised me.
I loved you when there were no secrets.
I loved you when you cried that day.
I loved you when you tried to be brave.
I loved you when we'd pray for the other.
I loved you when we watch a movie, and another.
I loved you when you ate your pasta.
I loved you when Id eat half your lunch.
I loved you when we spent time on that bench.
I loved you when you'd save all the tickets.
I loved you when we'd meet at the lobby.
I loved you when we ate butter maggi.
I loved you when you were really high.
I loved you when we'd look at the sky.
I loved you when you understood my concerns.
I loved you when you cared for my problems.
I loved you when you did my homework.
I loved you when you asked me to work.
I loved you when you fought with me.
I loved you when you missed me.
I loved you when Id call from my native.
I loved you when we you'd stay up to hear my voice.
I loved you when I did not show up.
I loved you when I did eventually turn up.
I loved you when you told me you got through.
I loved you the day you told me you are leaving.
I loved you when I heard your flight timing.
I loved you when I came to see you boarding.
I loved you when you introduced me to your parents.
I loved you when you look anxious about it.
I loved you when gave me that last kiss.
I loved you when you turned and walked away.
I loved you when you went to another place.
I loved you when you had no time to waste.
I loved you when you got your first job.
I loved you when you asked me to send letters.
I loved you when you'd find time for me.
I loved you when you went shopping for me.
I loved you when I saw you in my jacket.
I loved you when you sent me another.
I loved you when you came back home, after a year.
I loved you when you said I was dear.
I loved you when you seemed still the same.
I loved you when you changed for your aim.
I loved you the day we decided to part.
I loved you the days I asked to be a part.
I loved you the day I had nobody, not one.
And I'll love even if I'm not your one.