ReIncarnation

 I am in an induced state of being,

in a state that feels surreal at times.

all forgotten and freeing,

subtly through life's chimes. 

I remember the past glory,

and the strength in my armour.

But today I am part of the story,

and a forgotten charmer. 

I feel like an old man, 

in a young man's life.

Living a young man's life,

through an old man's eyes.

When did it all go away,

When did you let it go?

It seems so elusive now,

fleeting at your fingertips.

Time to recenter oneself,

recalibrate and reincarnate.

Wipe away the old verses,

write down new stanzas.

Like this one,

and keep some of the old.

But refresh and rejuvenate. 

Reiterate and redeem.

Lets flip things around,

and make no sense of it.

Lets ask more questions,

and answer those unanswered ones. 

Lets be in a haste,

and not let any moment go waste.

Let us hold hands,

and surge ahead.

It is time to forgive oneself,

for the past got you until this moment.

To unlock the next phase,

please say the following phrase in 3  different languages:

Bloop. Bleep. Whackadoodle. 

Unafraid.

I chose to not,

for once I am unafraid.

I do not believe in your words,

or your twisted sense of justice.

I follow what my heart says,

I will do what is right. 

I do not forgive,

for I strive for a higher goal.

A higher moral.

Let us live and let live. 

Who are you to judge the men,

the down trodden and the bruised?

Who are you to step on them,

and declare yourself better?

You will do the same,

You will be the same,

and yet you do not understand.

We are all the same,

we will choose what is right by us.

The right to live,

The right to breathe. 

The right to stand up and fight.

You cannot tell me or anyone to not,

when you hide behind your veil of self-righteousness.

You are no better. 

You are no better.

Be better.

Infinite

What do you know about the infinite?

About everything that could ever have been.

All the different permutations

And combinations.

Did you ever think it would be this one way?

One without one. 

One too far from the sun. 

Did you ever think you could escape?

Of all the possibilities,

And realities,

You live this one.

One without one.

Too far away from the sun. 

Dark and unforgiving,

Painful reliving.

What do you know about the infinite?

Do you ever think of everything you know?

Of all the books you ever read?

And the movies you watched? 

Or art that made you feel? 

Do you think about who you are?

And who you were when you watched those movies?

Or read those books or admired those creations? 

Movies and books mean different things to you,

Art makes you feel something new each time you witness it,

Each word written, each stroke of the brush,

Means something you haven’t felt before.

It is the infinite. 

One without one.

Another day around the sun. 

And so goes another year,

And a decade or a lifetime,

Relive them all, reread those books,

Rewatch those movie and revisit those places.

Because you are not you,

You are something new. 

Don’t miss out the first time,

And don’t forget to relive it either.

It is time.

How I have missed you?

Being a part of you.

Feeling things long lost,

tasting a forgotten memory.

Why be elusive?

Why be someone else?

Why care about the world?

Lets burn it all down,

Let take each thing apart,

one by one.

Let us rebuild it all anew. 

Let us recreate, remould. 

Sit up now,

time to wake up. 

You have been drugged for far too long,

The haze is waning,

Numbness fading. 

It is all coming back.

Look up now,

Nobody's here. 

Nobody ever was. 

Or has been. 

Or ever will.

It is just you,

and will always be,

Just you.

Stand up now.

Scream into the void.

Shout it out loud,

and walk away.

For this nothingness will never remember,

will never respond. 

So take what is yours,

burn them old bridges,

and memories,

and hopes.

Let's dream again.

And this time, 

Let us not care. 

Lets go back to the place, 

when you started,

and undo everything. 

Let us rebuild.

Relearn.

Recreate. 

Reclaim. 

It is time. 

Who do Gods worship?

Did I forgive my forefathers?

For who’s sins I am not aware of.

Or did my chest swell with pride,

For their virtues outlived their memories.

And about my progeny, I wonder.

What will they hear about me?

Do I still have time to right the wrong?

Or be human and forgotten?

Will I be remembered as a great poet?

Or a good human being?

Or a selfish human struggling to survive.

Maybe it is the choice I make.

Each day, every hour, every minute. 

I don’t atone for the sins of the ones before me 

I don’t believe anyone else will for mine.

For I am a mortal,

In the long bloodlines of immortal men.

Seeking atonement for the ones before.

Nothingness.

She roamed his fantasies,
free and unbound.
Desire, lust and senses,
all fulfilled, all consumed.
He let his mind run free,
no shackles, no chain links,
no streets blocked, no bridges broken,
The world was theirs, and they took it.
They caught the last train out,
They saw the first ray in.
No stone left unturned,
No sea uncrossed.
She spread like wildfire,
into his fertile mind, empty soul.
He breathed fire,
choked on her desire.
Nothing else existed,
No other universe, but theirs.
No other being but self,
Even the nothingness belonged to them.
And from nothingness they were born,
creating everything, destroying everything,
Controlling everything, Consuming everything.
Once they were done, they went back,
back into the emptiness,
Into nothingness.

Breathless

You are history's forgotten child
Born in simpler times
With no Great Wars to fight
And no mountain too big to scale
A million, no a billion and more
You are a part of everything
In every face, your smile too evident
Looking through eyes
Deep as the blackest night
And anchor-less in deep sea
Nothing you see in new
No feeling a stranger
No destination anew

These eyes of the world
Has seen it all before
And will see it all again
Time and place apart
And the mirrors will fail
Repeating their wares
Seen a billion times,
Saying the same thing.
Live, love and be loved.
The slow process of death
And life's infinite combinations
All played out the same
Saying nothing new.

But,
Do not stop running,
You might fall off this construct
Into an endless blackness,
Of dimensions unknown
But then again,
Aren't we all in one already.

Away.

I miss you today
It's one of those days
When I struggle to breathe
Where I notice the void
Left behind by you
In my numbing days

I don't miss you On other days
When I have the world
To conquer and consume
When I replace you
With little things

But like yin and yang
You creep back into
Again and again
This lifeless existence
You disrupt my life
You make me notice things

I don't see colors anymore,
But see it's absence
Happiness almost present
Left longing for more
I hear your voice
Each note in every song ever made

And each night
I wish you were here
Every morning I long for your warmth
And all the things
That we left unsaid
I wish we could scream

Longing.

There is a life,
Well beyond your reach,
Yet all around you,
Everywhere you look.
Yet nowhere to be seen,
In happiness,
Hope and longing,
Family and friends,
A good long weekend,
Laughs that cannot be replaced,
Memories you want to cherish,
Places that held meanings,
Times you cannot hold on to.
Wishing you could do over,
Every little thing again,
In the exact same way,
Nothing new.
Just to feel the same way again,
Live those beautiful moments,
Making them last,
Over again.

I miss it all.

One.

The answer was within.
At the center of the puzzle.
At the end of the ouroboros,
The end at the beginning,
And beginning at the end.
I marvel at the moment,
How soon I'm going to reset again,
Make myself forget,
To try hard to remember again.

I am the enlightened one,
At the center of the universe,
I am everything. I am nothing too.
I am the puppet master,
Letting the strings pull me,
It's too easy to control.
Let it out of your grasp.
Create to be undone,
By the creation of one.
Envied, envisioned, engulfed,
Senses enslaved to one.
And submit to none,
Because it's all in you,
You are the one.

Enlightenment

I am on my own.
I am the centre of my universe.
I create and destroy everything around me.
I see. I feel. I touch. I exist.
It is my fears that manifests these illusions.
Life is an illusion hiding behind our senses.
Nothing exists. You create it all.
I am the creator. I am the eternal being.
I created god to stay humble.
and the devil, to embrace my self.
I created the forbidden sins,
to want to sin.
I created ambition to sustain this dream.
Now I question if I am alone.
Does it all exist because I do?
Then what is on the other side?

do you?

Do you live to die?
Or wake up to fly?
Do you run to win?
Or feel the wind upon your chin?
Do you smile to hide?
Or laugh to snide?
Do you sing to feel?
Or scream to heal?
Do you fall to land?
Or await a helping hand?
Do you get up to fight?
Or just reach for the light?
Do you remember to relive?
Or forget how-to believe?
Do you pursue to let go?
Or wait for it to slow?

I did. Or did i? 

All one, all none, all Alone

Alone.
Another day one.
A passing cloud.
Screaming loud.
Do not look
or bite the hook
for everything in the past
will only ever last
as long as you keep
staring at it deep.
So take the turn
forget the burn
chase ahead
and ignore the dead.
Stay on course
to find the source.
And when you're at the end
turn and look for the bend
At which you concluded
that this life of yours included
A struggle to reach
and barriers to breach
And when you're up there
Remember that you did dare
To fight it all as one
as none
All Alone.

Act 1 Scene 2

The Spark has takes a new refuge
under the pretext of a better tomorrow.

The day has barely begun.
The alarm clocks still waiting for their moment of glory.
I have been awake for about 2 hours now, doodling ideas and forging new uncertainties in my head.
The harder I tried to go back to sleep, the farther I felt from falling asleep.
So why this sudden bout of insomnia? I think i have an answer this time around.

Follow me! Let me paint you a mental picture.

The path I was talking about! (This One!!)
I see a mountain up ahead. Not a hill, A mountain!!
It has its peak hidden among the clouds. The monstrous structure casts its shadow over everything else nearby. Everything else dwarfed by its presence.
I'm standing at the detour! I think i finally found the detour. The road splits into two; One path goes around the mountain and the other leads me to the base of the mountain.
The way to the mountain seem less traversed. And all the more exciting.

So I am standing at this juncture, been stuck here for a while.
Tossing my head to either side hoping to make a decision.
And I have.

Few in a billion have conquered this mountain. Yet I stand at its base.

I look forward to climbing the first step, while the infinite ones after await my presence.

A dream is not what you see in your sleep. A dream is what keeps you awake
--Dr. Abdul Kalam

Act 1 scene 1

The hard part is to start. Everything else just follows. I have the potential but despise the fear. The fear of failure.  I have seldom achieved greatness, appreciation. Maybe in another universe I'm the epitome of perfection.  But I trade my skills in this one. Here I am just a speck. Hardly noticed, mostly ignored.

What am I good at? Been asking this to myself all my life. What is it that I'm waiting to change my life. To awaken my inner beast or kill it completely. To wake up one morning and never sleep again. Be enlightened.

I follow the only road I see ahead. The path trampled by the many travellers it carried to cities unknown. I follow without doubt, for I believe my destination is where I stop.  Now when I think about it, where do I stop?

I am still young. Yet to fight the greater battles of life. Never used the pike and talking about horrors of war. But what am I fighting for? Who wins if I lose? Infinite questions for a simple answer.

So I'm back on my path. I'm walking again. I don't want to miss out anything.  Maybe a detour waits ahead. Or an escape rope. And maybe, just maybe, I shall take it.