Begin again II

I am in a different life,

In a different time space continuum,

Creating new as I destroy the old,

No not the old, but the would have been,

I ran from the eventuality,

Tried to wrestle my fate from the being,

Forged new alliances,

And fought new demons,

But as the sun sets,

And the horizon approaches,

I try once again to slow it down.

Take the last breath of life.

Life is catching up again,

Making me dance to its tune,

My Vision is blurring again,

The past repeating pain.

Do I make the same mistakes?

Do I have a choice this time?

You wouldn’t know.

Neither do I. 

But this endless circle consumes us all,

Creating us all, destroying our soul.

a day forward at a time in the future,

A day back, into our past.

Away.

I miss you today
It's one of those days
When I struggle to breathe
Where I notice the void
Left behind by you
In my numbing days

I don't miss you On other days
When I have the world
To conquer and consume
When I replace you
With little things

But like yin and yang
You creep back into
Again and again
This lifeless existence
You disrupt my life
You make me notice things

I don't see colors anymore,
But see it's absence
Happiness almost present
Left longing for more
I hear your voice
Each note in every song ever made

And each night
I wish you were here
Every morning I long for your warmth
And all the things
That we left unsaid
I wish we could scream

Surreal

I still search for you,
on every face i see,
in the lost cities,
in a forgotten time.
I see your shadows,
almost in my grasp,
losing at the sight,
every other night.
Yet you tease me,
giving me just enough,
keeping me hooked on,
making me believe.
I search in the cracks,
I break things to see,
I hope to find you,
and yet I wish I don't.
You will always exist,
forever and eternal,
at the outer edges of my reach,
bordering reality.
Will I ever find you,
or walk straight into you,
in a crowded place,
looking lost.
You will never let me,
your existence is transient in this realm.
But I will look for you,
I will look into your eyes,
hold you,
kiss you,
and forever want to forget i did.
because your existence negates mine,
we don't belong together,
we communicate through the cracks,
through unspoken words,
in imaginary places.
I will never have you,
but I will look for you.
In places, on faces.
I will look for you,
In worlds that do not exist.
and feelings that never did. 

Enlightenment

I am on my own.
I am the centre of my universe.
I create and destroy everything around me.
I see. I feel. I touch. I exist.
It is my fears that manifests these illusions.
Life is an illusion hiding behind our senses.
Nothing exists. You create it all.
I am the creator. I am the eternal being.
I created god to stay humble.
and the devil, to embrace my self.
I created the forbidden sins,
to want to sin.
I created ambition to sustain this dream.
Now I question if I am alone.
Does it all exist because I do?
Then what is on the other side?

Elusive darkness

I come back to you,
like a customer on tab,
in this whorehouse of lust,
with an animalistic urge.
The closer I get to you,
you seem farther away.
lost dreams circling in your eyes,
elusive to my touch.
It draws me to you,
even when I have you,
that I cannot have you,
even on days I've had you.
I crave your soul,
not your body, nothing whole.
I want your broken, scarred skin.
I want you, taken in your sin.
Give in to me, let me have it all,
let me inside that shell,
show me your beautiful hell.
Yet I fear the day,
when you let me prey,
on your elusive darkness,
on my carnal madness.
But do give in to me,
Let me inside that shell,
show me your beautiful hell.