ReIncarnation

 I am in an induced state of being,

in a state that feels surreal at times.

all forgotten and freeing,

subtly through life's chimes. 

I remember the past glory,

and the strength in my armour.

But today I am part of the story,

and a forgotten charmer. 

I feel like an old man, 

in a young man's life.

Living a young man's life,

through an old man's eyes.

When did it all go away,

When did you let it go?

It seems so elusive now,

fleeting at your fingertips.

Time to recenter oneself,

recalibrate and reincarnate.

Wipe away the old verses,

write down new stanzas.

Like this one,

and keep some of the old.

But refresh and rejuvenate. 

Reiterate and redeem.

Lets flip things around,

and make no sense of it.

Lets ask more questions,

and answer those unanswered ones. 

Lets be in a haste,

and not let any moment go waste.

Let us hold hands,

and surge ahead.

It is time to forgive oneself,

for the past got you until this moment.

To unlock the next phase,

please say the following phrase in 3  different languages:

Bloop. Bleep. Whackadoodle. 

Unafraid.

I chose to not,

for once I am unafraid.

I do not believe in your words,

or your twisted sense of justice.

I follow what my heart says,

I will do what is right. 

I do not forgive,

for I strive for a higher goal.

A higher moral.

Let us live and let live. 

Who are you to judge the men,

the down trodden and the bruised?

Who are you to step on them,

and declare yourself better?

You will do the same,

You will be the same,

and yet you do not understand.

We are all the same,

we will choose what is right by us.

The right to live,

The right to breathe. 

The right to stand up and fight.

You cannot tell me or anyone to not,

when you hide behind your veil of self-righteousness.

You are no better. 

You are no better.

Be better.

It is time.

How I have missed you?

Being a part of you.

Feeling things long lost,

tasting a forgotten memory.

Why be elusive?

Why be someone else?

Why care about the world?

Lets burn it all down,

Let take each thing apart,

one by one.

Let us rebuild it all anew. 

Let us recreate, remould. 

Sit up now,

time to wake up. 

You have been drugged for far too long,

The haze is waning,

Numbness fading. 

It is all coming back.

Look up now,

Nobody's here. 

Nobody ever was. 

Or has been. 

Or ever will.

It is just you,

and will always be,

Just you.

Stand up now.

Scream into the void.

Shout it out loud,

and walk away.

For this nothingness will never remember,

will never respond. 

So take what is yours,

burn them old bridges,

and memories,

and hopes.

Let's dream again.

And this time, 

Let us not care. 

Lets go back to the place, 

when you started,

and undo everything. 

Let us rebuild.

Relearn.

Recreate. 

Reclaim. 

It is time. 

Remembrance

You know you’re alive,
For now,
In this place and time.
You sense it too,
It’s too short awhile,
People and places,
Happiness and feelings,
Moments and memories,
Everything dies.
But is not enough time,
To commit each line,
Into this world,
Give it life.
Each word read,
A lifetime felt,
A memory etched,
Another stretched.
Re-remembering the scent,
Re-finding it’s lost place,
Among the other million times,
Of similar days.
But you should,
For you’re the only one,
And nobody else can,
Speak the same tongue,
Utter the same words,
Feel the same loss.
And for memories,
Of lost friends,
And forgotten lovers,
For the existing colours,
And the ones unseen,
For the foreseen memories,
And forgotten days,
For the love you felt,
And the one which hurts.
You need to get it out.
Breathe into life those words.
Give them life,
And your soul.
Become immortal.
Conquer death.
All this and an unforgotten life.
Start now before it’s too late.
Die a thousand more times,
To relive a single memory.
Tell them all,
Show it to them,
Make them live though it,
Scream it out loud,
Create a world,
A universe,
A life they will all relive,
Though you.
In your memories,
And mistakes.
And myriad of fantasies.
And so I must.
To keep them all alive.

Through these words.

Cosmic High

Do not worship this mortal body,
for I want you to hold my soul.
The idea that we're twin souls of a whole,
created by a cosmic fault.

I long for you lover,
in more ways than known to man.
For we do not belong here,
not in this restrained land.

And I want you to know,
I want you to feel this,
this energy that flows through me,
making me crave your soul.

I cherish your love,
your eternal adoration,
for this mortal damnation,
will never hold us long.

We would unite,
and stars would die,
and universes be reborn,
with this cosmic high.

My Eternal

If I do not know you,
in the next coming life,
or the million ones after,
I will come find you.

If you do not recognise me,
or feel the same way,
I will give my all,
just to show you I can.

If I fail to show you my love,
and if you fail to see it,
I would not lose hope,
I will come find you in the next.

If you do remember,
If you have our memories together,
Come find me,
Make me remember.

If I do not remember,
or fail to recognise you,
Do not give up on me,
For my memory is limited,
not my love.

If you do love me,
once again,
in another life, another time,
I promise you, you, my everything.
My eternal, my infinite.

Away.

I miss you today
It's one of those days
When I struggle to breathe
Where I notice the void
Left behind by you
In my numbing days

I don't miss you On other days
When I have the world
To conquer and consume
When I replace you
With little things

But like yin and yang
You creep back into
Again and again
This lifeless existence
You disrupt my life
You make me notice things

I don't see colors anymore,
But see it's absence
Happiness almost present
Left longing for more
I hear your voice
Each note in every song ever made

And each night
I wish you were here
Every morning I long for your warmth
And all the things
That we left unsaid
I wish we could scream

Longing.

There is a life,
Well beyond your reach,
Yet all around you,
Everywhere you look.
Yet nowhere to be seen,
In happiness,
Hope and longing,
Family and friends,
A good long weekend,
Laughs that cannot be replaced,
Memories you want to cherish,
Places that held meanings,
Times you cannot hold on to.
Wishing you could do over,
Every little thing again,
In the exact same way,
Nothing new.
Just to feel the same way again,
Live those beautiful moments,
Making them last,
Over again.

I miss it all.

Village bard

You will succeed
At the stroke of the night
When the children are asleep
And the widows start to weep

You will remain strong,
Resilient to the wind,
The Piper is on his song,
And against his words you're pinned.

But do not quiver,
Do not shudder,
Your resolve,
Is your only strength.

So you fight hard,
You show your strength.
You're the village bard,
You fight till the nth.

Good Night Timey Wimey.

Close your eyes love,
enough of this darkness.
Let us rise to light again,
Let's fall in love again.

Hold on to me,
while we drift away.
Into the unknown sea,
wake into another day.

Dream on now,
we're almost there.
Together as we imagined,
breaking into the dawn.

Close your eyes love,
Let me hold you.
Nothing more to fear,
The daybreak is finally here.

Our eternity. Yours and mine.

Under this Open sky,

with its billion stars dying upon us,

I will wait with you,

For our eternity. 

Our intertwined destinies,

Spread across the stars,

As stardust on our lives,

Reaching far across the skies. 

Come now lover,

It's time to leave,

This beautiful place,

And this eternal space.

Come with me,

Those stars are waiting,

To be conquered.

And we'll return,

When they all have been.

For this eternity is ours.

Yours and mine,

Under this open sky,

With its billion stars dying upon us.

You Love.

Who am I writing for anymore?
The ones who died never belonged.
The ones who live don't realise.
And Here I am...
Running away..
From my one true love..
You.
Your empty self,
wanting to be filled.
Milking my senses,
wanting my pain.
You Love.
You play me.
You indulge me.
You crave my soul.
I let you have.
Again today.
And will on all the numbered tomorrows.
You are my saviour.
You are my strength.
You are my salvation.
I live,
for our tomorrow.

A star kissed world.

Its as cold,
as we're Old.
Your memories etched.
Our lives stretched.
You and I,
another night under this sky.
Like yesterday and before,
for tomorrow and beyond.
The fire burning bright,
our hopes kindled right.
The light on your face,
casting shadows onto mine.
I ask you if we should wake up,
you want to hold on.
Under our limitless sky,
to our star kissed world.

Symmetry.

Right is left,
It left us a long ago.
Up is down,
Down that lonely road.
Light is dark,
Dark skin on light.
With is without,
Without your aching soul.

Noon is night,
That night your makeup smudged.
Strong is weak,
Your scent and my weak heart.
Shallow is deep,
Deep into my soul you looked.
Empty is full,
Full of our crazies.

Together is alone,
Alone one looked on.
End is beginning,
The beginning to our end.

A butterfly's pie.

They were meeting after a long time. He was anxious. She was cheerful. They had a summer together, and now a couple of winters since. They had named their weeks together on flowers. And there was a whole unkempt garden between them now. He called her butterfly, she called him apple pie.
So where does one start after ten reruns of their favourite TV shows, neither knew. It started with a crumbling apple pie on her plate and an open social networking site on his slate.

They met at a cafe. On a roof top. One of the busy by-lanes of a city they half explored in their previous life together. She asked for coffee - Black. No Milk. He wanted something cold to sooth his burning self. He asked for something Hot.

The place was set. The pleasantries exchanged. The accent changed. And the humour charged.

She had pretty eyes. His only for her. They wanted to talk, emote, maybe even communicate. And that is the thing with eyes, they just blink, flicker and close. And everything else is lost in between.

He did not remember why they parted, he did remember when. And the number of girls even since then. She remembered that night. And the sound of their fight. Her message tone echoed her fears. He was once too dear.

He dint love her anymore, of that he was sure. She wasn't sure why she still felt something weird.
They were like children lost in a playground from another time.
She smiled, he acknowledged. She had the same vacant expressions on her face. Something that he had not found anywhere else. He had the same grin, when he saw something he wanted.

He reminded her of everything that she had left behind to start afresh. She reminded him of the path he did not take. And on that day when the sun was setting over the city horizon, it did not matter to either of them. She just wanted to be with her apple pie. And he had found his butterfly.
Once Again.

The Phone is charged

Are you eternal
like the flame
I stroke
on the old
candle wick
which just burns
with no flick.

Are you love
In my arms
And the sweetness
In your warmth
Holding on
to my skin
With the passion
In your vein.

I want you.
You, just you.
You with my
Brokenness
You with my
Emptiness
I want you.
You, just you.

Are we ready?

What is this life about anyway. It's like a maze that was intended with no final destination. You start and follow the predestined order of things and people. Your choices are well limited within the physics of this mechanism. It makes you feel like you're in a hamster wheel. One that is rotating at a very high speed.
One might argue that we have our choices and we choose to be a part of all this. Do you have a choice? If we did choose this, then why is it that we feel so numb. Like there is something out there that makes more sense than this ever did. Like life was given to us to serve a particular purpose. This consciousness needs validation.

I was sent here to alter the set course of nature and events. I was a lynchpin, without ever knowing where or how I served my purpose. That is the one question that makes us wonder. Yes we did play our part, but what was it. How did I influence in sculpting the future of this end of the universe without even being aware of it. 

Maybe I was placed here in this time and space for the purpose of asking these questions. These questions that might be read by an unknown person, who might take the right step towards answering them. And he in-turn facilitating someone else to accomplish his life's purpose. 

I want to find 

the end of the world

to look over the horizon

to the other side 

that is hidden

from us in plain sight

must bring it to light.

Where does this end

and where does it begin.

How do i escape

this loop of time.

Why do I feel 

that there is more.

Was I chosen?

an aberration.

To find an answer.

An Austrian Summer

We'd be in Austria
In that cafe
On that street
Overlooking those snow peaked mountains
Im sipping on my coffee; reading a book
You're sitting across
We're happy
Together;

And we have this golden retriever

We named him 'max'
Max is so adorable
A pup
Max is trying to get your attention
You are reading some magazine
Something about the old and beautiful castles around
We decide to go there the next day
And then we walk out and take Max along
You're holding on to my arm
I like it when you do that
The cobbled streets
There is a gentle breeze
And it carries a familiar tune
Some violinist playing in one of those cafes

And you smile.
And we head home.

Why(?) not.

It is happening again,

Like that day, That summer in vain,

Ah! The way it works on you,

That happiness for the chosen few.

It makes you weak, vulnerable,

And yet you choose to blow up that bubble.

Look at you. Hopeful in pain,

Letting go to be held once again.

It wouldn't happen this time, You wouldn't tell.

Hush the feeling, You know so well.

This time you'd be wrong. There is no song.

No melody. No symphony. Or rhyme.

But,

What if this was another time?

I can feel it, bittersweet in lime.

It's another test boy. You got nothing to win.

Kill it now. Not another sin.

I just lost everything. Maybe another try.

And If it doesn't happen, lets talk about 'why'.

And, If it does happen?

A blue bag and the balance of the universe.

It was on a lazy Sunday afternoon that I'd decided to go meet her, this incredibly awesome friend of mine.
She was one of those rare creatures who did not seem to care about anything else happening around, while everyone else were busy running their exhausting mundane lives. I liked her because she was on the outside like me, watching the rest of them do their thing. I liked her because she dint seem to have the same level of femininity as other girls, or the rest of the drama that comes along with being the weaker of the sexes (Male chauvinistic me? Maybe.)
So we met at a common place where I spent most of the last six years. It had changed much, and I think I did too. She hadn't. She was this same awesome thing that I had met 6 years(?) ago.
We went to 'Subway', and got ourselves a sub and found a bench to sit down and talk about the interesting things in ones life these days. As it was the norm between us we spoke about everything that would not help us make the world a better place to live in. We finished our subs as we moved to another bench closer to where I had parked my car.
The only difference this time that I found in her was this bag of hers. A bag!! She was carrying with her a blue 'Caprese' bag. I did find that a bit odd. Not because she was carrying a bag, but because I was seeing her with one for the first time. "Girls carry bags!", I argued. She tried her bit to convince me that she was girly too, but that was the last thing I would have thought of her. And none could blame me for she would have made an awesome guy friend too. I guess life cant be that perfect too. (Perfection-is-a-myth-moment).
So coming to the odd things that happened that day. We talking about love and relationships. I explained why I'm cynical about the concept of love and she played her part to counter my arguments. And while she was talking about something about someone getting married, I noticed this tree in front of us. A tree with its branches forming a sort of deflated heart. She saw a witches hair, I clearly saw a heart! (The hopeless romantic phase refuses to get done with me).
We walked over to the nearest coffee shop to get some caffeine in our system. I got my cappuccino with another heart which I immediately crossed off (Should be seeing hearts post a breakup!!). So we sit there and talk about odd things. She was at a regular interval removing odd things from her Caprese bag, and I was constantly reminding her to come back to being one of us. There she met one of her seniors from school, whom she used to played basketball with. I mention this otherwise seemingly irrelevant piece of information here because of something this person said. She replied saying she was 'in transition', when asked about what she has been doing. What a lovely way to put it. From this day on I am 'In transition-ing' to anyone who asks me about my aim in life.
I showed my friend some off my works on my phone. I was looking at her intently, as she was reading, as I do to anyone I showcase the things I have written. I like to see how people's expressions change as they read. A subtle smile from them inspires me more than a well written review praising my work.
I noticed that she was looking prettier than usual. Wait! How is that possible? She is one of us.
I think its the bag. Its presence is disturbing the balance of this perfect little thing we have going on here.
As we walked back to my car, we stopped under a street light. The light filtering through the leaves in the ruffling wind played a very psychedelic song on the pavement.
So I dropped her back to her car, bid farewell and tried to talk her out of being girly again. (I cannot start liking this one, shes too awesome for that.)
Hmm.

And that is how a bag almost changed my perception on a lazy Sunday evening.

(Caprese is a brand! Who knew that! Thank you once again for your patience.)

Sidharth.
(Not just sid.)