Away.

I miss you today
It's one of those days
When I struggle to breathe
Where I notice the void
Left behind by you
In my numbing days

I don't miss you On other days
When I have the world
To conquer and consume
When I replace you
With little things

But like yin and yang
You creep back into
Again and again
This lifeless existence
You disrupt my life
You make me notice things

I don't see colors anymore,
But see it's absence
Happiness almost present
Left longing for more
I hear your voice
Each note in every song ever made

And each night
I wish you were here
Every morning I long for your warmth
And all the things
That we left unsaid
I wish we could scream

Amma

You are my constant.
My world and everything in it.
It all started with you,
And ends with you.
You were my first friend,
My very first words,
And every breath since.
I have loved you for the longest,
And during the hardest of times.
I know you love me,
And you will to the very end.
You taught me everything I know,
You made me the man I am today,
Your sacrifices were our stepping stones,
You make us stronger.
I love you Amma.
I miss you every single day.
Happy birthday!

One.

The answer was within.
At the center of the puzzle.
At the end of the ouroboros,
The end at the beginning,
And beginning at the end.
I marvel at the moment,
How soon I'm going to reset again,
Make myself forget,
To try hard to remember again.

I am the enlightened one,
At the center of the universe,
I am everything. I am nothing too.
I am the puppet master,
Letting the strings pull me,
It's too easy to control.
Let it out of your grasp.
Create to be undone,
By the creation of one.
Envied, envisioned, engulfed,
Senses enslaved to one.
And submit to none,
Because it's all in you,
You are the one.

Lust.

The skin smooth and soft over your luscious body. With sweat sickly sweet on your brown skin. The little details contoured by its dampness and enhanced by its trailing wetness. I sit here and lust for that body. And feel this need to quench my thirst. I yearn to be consumed by your lust. The way you moved through my fantasies. Caressing one demon and fondling the other. Condemning their sins while making them ours. Words can't quite describe these feelings. You cannot capture the want in its original form. Its easier when we're together. When we let our bodies do the talking. When I can run wild over your forbidden softness. Look deep into your eyes and worship our sin. Let it all fall and shatter. Let the worlds collapse. We'd be burning by then. Up in flames of lust. I'd consume your demons. I'll flame your fire. And you'd burn me whole.

Unloved.

The cigarette burning through,
smoke enough to drown dreams,
or dreamy smoke to fuel life.
Sitting watching the emptiness,
trying to feel,
Feelings to try again.
Who are you now?
who are you trying to please now?
Where are you now?
Are you alive? do you even feel?
Where did you lose brother?
How far along have you come?
You stay detached.
Angry at yourself, for being someone.
Feel, fight, pick sides, run, die.
Emote dear love, this is not you.
Let it all be free. Flawed.
Stop trying to hold on.
Let it go, let the world swirl into nothingness.
The madness breathing life.
wake up and be alive.
The numbness will die down,
warmth will flood your inner soul.
Give in to the wants, and want it all.
Worship your devil, and give him life.
for that is the only way. Be unloved.

Broken pages. Incomplete stories.

Memories remain,
Some recent, many past,
like faded old photographs,
Hanging in crowded coffee shops,
Where we had our big conversations.
About the little things.

But we did part,
Like the pages in a book.
To the end of this story.
Let's toss books and burn libraries.

When Clichéd metaphors wet our lives,
Strange ones emerge.
The shadows learn to whisper their tale,
Of how they miss the sun.

And so we start again,
One step and then another.
With memories to forget
And scars to heal.