Almost heaven.

                                       I

We embody a soul
a soul never whole
We relish the hunt

As we live for the blunt

And so we survive

As Each day you thrive

On a hardwired lie

That you wouldn't die

Unless you have found

With your bloodly hound

That broken pretty thing

With the other half wing

Who could finish your start

Who would wait to last

In whose brokenness you're whole

In whose body lies your soul

                                       II

And what if you too, are wrong

Her name, another song?

Would you still go on?

Wake up another morn?

Oh! Aren't you the one

As another, or none

Oh let's forget the lie

Maybe it's time to die

Pour me another cup

Maybe the time is up

You go only so far with the gin

Time for the greatest sin

You cut off your half wing

And in despair you sing

To those who loved

And To those who lived.

do you?

Do you live to die?
Or wake up to fly?
Do you run to win?
Or feel the wind upon your chin?
Do you smile to hide?
Or laugh to snide?
Do you sing to feel?
Or scream to heal?
Do you fall to land?
Or await a helping hand?
Do you get up to fight?
Or just reach for the light?
Do you remember to relive?
Or forget how-to believe?
Do you pursue to let go?
Or wait for it to slow?

I did. Or did i? 

"Mi ángel, esta conmigo siempre"

She said, "Mi ángel, esta conmigo siempre".
And i knew mine never left me! 

All one, all none, all Alone

Alone.
Another day one.
A passing cloud.
Screaming loud.
Do not look
or bite the hook
for everything in the past
will only ever last
as long as you keep
staring at it deep.
So take the turn
forget the burn
chase ahead
and ignore the dead.
Stay on course
to find the source.
And when you're at the end
turn and look for the bend
At which you concluded
that this life of yours included
A struggle to reach
and barriers to breach
And when you're up there
Remember that you did dare
To fight it all as one
as none
All Alone.

Tonight...

Where are you girl?
Fighting for me.
All by yourself, tonight.

Where are you girl?
Holding my hand
Tightly bound wand, tonight.

Where are you girl?
Laughing for me
Our little secrets, tonight.

Where are you girl?
Screaming at me
Your broken half, tonight.

Where are you girl?
Walking away
Hurting yourself, tonight.

Where are you girl?
Smiling at me
In my dreams-lost, tonight.

Cardamom tea!!

A gentle breeze.
Post afternoon pre evening.
I still remember her sunlit face.
Explaining how bad and unjust this world is. How it would cater to the wants of the undeserved. We are having our post afternoon pre evening tea, sitting on my ever so reliable scooter.
I must have skipped my classes that day to be there, with her. I did not mind it. It made more sense to me to be there than in a class, where I would sit and day dream about her. I liked it back then, I was the one making choices.
Me : aunty, yerad cardamom tea!
While waiting for the tea/change I would look at the toffees I could get with the change. I wouldn't buy any. I would slowly walk back to the scooter balancing the cups.
She would do the talking. I'm just lost to the surroundings. She'd speak about her scores, always short of perfection for her. And mine, an achievement more to do with luck than effort. She would tell me about her plans, work and future. I would sit there and wonder about the lack of planning in my life. She was organised, Meticulous and goal oriented. I was just there. Happy to be there with her.
And when it was time to leave, she would say, "Sid stay here till I leave".
We would say our goodbyes and I'd watch her walk away. Our goodbyes lasted only a day, for I knew tomorrow I'd be here again. Tomorrows meant promises and more cardamom tea!
I remember her not-so-funny jokes, her butterfly earrings. Her stupid smile and her sunlit face. 
Little did I know then, that I'd stay and watch her walk away, in a couple of years.
That our tomorrows meant twice as much and goodbyes that lasted years.
And she'd say, "Sid, I love you!"

1:00 AM Departure

Three Women

six pair of eyes

three sets of tears

a mother

a sister

a fiancee

each longing for 

her son

her brother

her sweetheart